How to start a conversation about mental health with loved ones
Your mental health is your emotional, psychological and social wellbeing. Basically, it’s how you think, feel and act. In Australia, around one in five people experienced a mental illness in the past 12 months.
But despite how common mental illness is, 60% of people with a mental illness won’t seek help because they might be ashamed or feel like a burden. So, what can you do to help a loved one with their mental health? One of the simplest things you can do is start a conversation about how they're feeling – and we're going to show you how.
Why is it important to talk about our mental health?
Talking to your friends and family about their mental health can be tough. You might not know what to say or do, or even how they’ll react. But taking this small step can make a positive difference. They’ll know that you’re in their corner, ready to support them. Plus, reaching out to your loved ones about their mental health can strengthen your relationship.
When should you reach out?
There are some signs that a loved one might be struggling with their mental health that you should be aware of, such as:
They’re quiet or more withdrawn than usual
They have trouble with their sleep. This includes not being able to fall asleep, sleeping too much or they wake up feeling tired
They have headaches all the time or stomach issues. They might also lose or gain weight
They might have trouble focusing on school or work. They might also struggle making decisions or remembering things
They might rely on alcohol or drugs to cope with their struggles
They might be angry or irritable more often. Or they might feel very worried about daily tasks.
If someone you know has any of these symptoms, then it might be a good time to start a conversation with them.
How to choose the right place
Where you have your conversation is as important as the conversation itself. Creating a safe and supportive environment can help you and your family member or friend feel comfortable opening up. Pick a location where you know they can feel relaxed and at ease, like at home with their pet or going for a walk at a park.
How can you have the conversation?
If you're ready to talk to your loved one about their mental health, here are some tips to help you start the conversation:
“Are you okay?” is a simple and effective opening line. You can frame it around what you’ve noticed about them, like their mood changing. For example, “Are you okay? I’ve noticed that your mood has changed over the last six months.”
Let them lead the conversation and remind them that they can share as much or as little as they like. For example, “What’s been going on? You don’t have to share everything, just know that I’m here to listen.”
Use open-ended questions to let the conversation flow and get them to talk freely. For example, “How have you been feeling lately?”
Ask what they need from you so they can take the lead on how you can support them. For example, “What can I do to help you?”
Don’t give advice. The best thing you can do is listen to them and validate their feelings. For example, you might say, “I can see that this is hard for you.”
Remind them that you love them. They might feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. For example, “I want you to know that I love you and I am concerned about you.”
How to support someone with mental health issues
After the conversation, it’s important that you continue to support and check in with your loved one. This can help empower them to take positive steps towards bettering their mental health. If you’re not sure what to do next, that’s okay. We’ve got some simple things you can do to support a loved one after talking about their mental health:
Help them to take a small and actionable steps. This can be writing their thoughts down or encouraging them to speak with a psychologist.
Remind them of their resilience and strength. They’ve already taken a huge step by opening up to you, so celebrate their little victories along the way.
Be with them every step of the way. Check in with them regularly or offer to attend appointments with them.
Support their decisions and let them be in control of what they need.
There are also plenty of free mental health services you can encourage your loved one to look into. They can chat with a counsellor online through Beyond Blue. Or if you have a child who needs support, you could help them call Kids Helpline to talk to a counsellor. Another option is to point your loved one towards Lifeline’s Support Toolkit. This toolkit can offer your family member or friend guidance on how to manage their situation.
We’re here to help
At nib, we want to support our members with their mental health, whatever that looks like to them. That’s why we offer a range of mental health management programs for eligible nib members. These programs can help you (or a family member or friend) improve your mental wellbeing.
You can also book a telehealth consultation with a medical doctor through our partner hub.health. They can start the process of getting a psychologist referral or organise a mental health care plan.
And remember, if you or someone you know needs help, please call:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
MensLine Australia (24 hours) 1300 78 99 78
SANE Helpline (mental illness information, support and referral) 1800 18 7263
The information contained in this article is provided as general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For personalised medical advice, always consult your qualified healthcare professional.