Take control of social anxiety with these expert-backed strategies

Feeling nervous in new social situations is completely normal but if that anxiety starts to hold you back from everyday life, it could be a sign of social anxiety. The good news is social anxiety in adults is more common than you might think and there are effective ways to manage it.

“Being nervous about being around people you don’t know – or even around certain people you do know – is completely normal,” shares psychologist Leanne Hall. “However, if this gets to the stage where you start avoiding situations because you feel anxious, then it’s a problem. Or if the only way you can be around people is to consume substances like alcohol, then chances are you are socially anxious.”

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is far more intense – and debilitating – than simple nerves.

“It is a fear of being judged or criticised in social situations and leads to a reluctance or complete avoidance of social interactions,” explains Leanne. “People who experience social anxiety find it extremely difficult to have conversations and interact with groups of people, preferring one-on-one interactions only.”

Around 3% of Australians will experience social anxiety (also called social phobia) in any one year, with up to 13% developing the disorder during their lifetime. The symptoms are similar to any anxiety disorder: a faster heartbeat, trembling, sweating, an upset stomach, breathlessness, dizziness or light-headedness, the feeling that your mind has gone blank and muscle tension.

What causes social anxiety?

The causes of social anxiety aren’t known for certain, but experts think it may run in families. Along with a possible genetic predisposition, Beyond Blue suggests people may develop social phobia after a traumatic event, such as being publicly humiliated or bullied at school.

Social phobia often starts as childhood shyness, developing between the ages of around 11 to 15. It can be triggered by:

• Crowds and parties

• Public speaking

• Striking up (or simply being involved in) conversations

• Speaking to large groups of people or those in a position of seniority or authority

• Voicing opinions

• Meeting new people

• Dating

• Using public toilets

• Going shopping

• Being watched while eating, signing papers or making a phone call.

In fact, even the anticipation of any of these situations can bring on anxiety for social phobia sufferers, reinforcing their avoidance of social events.

“Social anxiety can come and go and is usually triggered during times of stress or change, such as a relationship breakup, leaving school, moving to a new area or a new job,” explains Leanne.

“It can also be triggered by particular situations or people – for example if someone does make fun of you, or if you happen to run into your ex unexpectedly.”

Tips to overcome social anxiety

If social anxiety is affecting your daily life, it’s important to seek professional help. But there is more you can do to take control. Here are some coping techniques to help you manage social anxiety:

1. Recognise your triggers

Understanding what situations trigger your social anxiety is helpful. Common triggers include meeting new people, public speaking or being in crowds. Identifying these triggers helps you prepare and reduce avoidance behaviours.

2. Prepare for social situations

Before facing a challenging social event, plan ahead if you can. Arrange to attend with a supportive friend or set an exit strategy to help you feel in control. Knowing you can leave if things become overwhelming can ease anxiety.

3. Practice grounding techniques

Relaxation strategies such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, meditation and visualisation are effective social anxiety coping techniques. These methods help calm your mind and body during anxious moments.

4. Start small, then build confidence

Gradually expose yourself to social situations, starting with less intimidating ones. This approach, known as exposure therapy, helps reduce fear over time. Social skills training, including role-playing in group settings, can also boost your confidence and comfort around others.

5. Seek professional support

Talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, can help you understand and challenge anxious thoughts while building coping skills. Start with your GP, who can refer you to specialists or recommend telehealth options for consultations from home, including psychologist appointments through nib’s First Choice mental health network and support from nib’s mental health programs for eligible members.

6. Lifestyle tips to reduce anxiety

Regular exercise, sufficient sleep, balanced meals and reducing caffeine intake support overall mental health and can lessen anxiety symptoms.

Leanne Hall, psychologist, says: "My number-one piece of advice for those experiencing social anxiety is: don’t let it win. It tries to isolate you, but with support and small steps, you can prove it wrong."

Leanne also encourages gentle pushback against avoidance and recommends having a trusted person support you without judgment. She also advises accessing support through Medicare’s GP Mental Health Treatment Plans or reaching out to organisations like Beyond Blue for extra help.

Seeking help

Are you suffering with your mental health and are unsure where or who to turn to? We asked nib Medical Advisor, Hamish Black, to put together a list of six resources that can help. The best part is, they’re free and only a website, app or phone call away. Check out our article 6 ways to get help for mental health – and you won’t have to pay a thing for more.

If you need to access healthcare but aren't feeling up to sitting in a waiting room, nib has partnered with hub.health to offer telehealth for our members. If you have an urgent need for help with your mental health, contact one of these helplines:.

• Lifeline (24 hours): 13 11 14

• Kids Helpline (24 hours): 1800 55 1800

• MensLine Australia (24 hours): 1300 78 99 78

• SANE Helpline (mental illness information, support and referral): 1800 18 7263

Please note: The tips throughout this article serve as broad information and should not replace any advice you have been given by your medical practitioner.