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How to support someone with postnatal depression or anxiety

14 October 2025
A mother holding her sleeping baby in her arms at home

Welcoming a baby can be exciting and full of joy, but it’s also normal to feel unexpectedly low or overwhelmed and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong as a parent. 

Postnatal depression (PND) affects around one in seven women in the first year of having their baby. 

“It’s not just mothers who experience PND but dads as well,” says nib clinical expert, Jo Baja. “The focus of PND discussions do tend to be around the mother, but it’s important we talk about the fathers too.” 

That’s why we’re exploring everything you need to know about PND, so you can spot the signs and get the support you or your loved ones need. 

What is postnatal depression? 

Postnatal depression is a type of depression that can come on within 12 months of having a child. It usually manifests in the first few weeks or months post-birth and can start slowly or suddenly. 

“About 80% of women have the ‘baby blues’,” says Jo. “But those feelings tend to pass within a day or two. It’s completely different from PND.” 

But if you’re feeling ‘blue’ or anxious well after this period, then it could be a sign of postnatal depression. 

“Most parents with PND might lose interest in other people or their baby. They might also feel low, hopeless and uninterested in things they normally enjoy,” says Jo. “PND can impact your way of life, especially if you’re a first-time parent. So it’s so important to know the signs and get help if you need it.” 
 
Just remember, it’s completely normal to feel guilty or worried about experiencing these feelings - lots of parents do, and it doesn’t make you a ‘bad parent.’ You’re not alone. The important thing is not to stay silent - having a chat with someone you trust, like your GP, a counsellor, or a support service, can really help. 

Can you get postnatal anxiety too? 

Yes, you can also get postnatal anxiety on top of postnatal depression. 

“Many people who have PND tend to have postnatal anxiety too,” Jo explains. “Postnatal anxiety does have some overlap with PND, in terms of symptoms. But the main point of difference is that postnatal anxiety causes feelings of fear and worry that are hard to control.” 

What are the signs that someone has postnatal depression? 

Everyone experiences postnatal depression in different ways. But some parents might have the same struggles and signs of postnatal depression. 

“It’s important to understand the signs of PND,” says Jo. “There are some people who think the signs of PND are just the signs of having a newborn. This can make the parent feel invalidated when they have a very real mental health issue.” 

Here are some of the symptoms of postnatal depression you should keep an eye out for: 

  • You feel low or numb 

  • You feel helpless, hopeless or worthless 

  • You lose interest in other people and your hobbies. This includes your newborn or partner 

  • You have changes in appetite or sleep that go beyond typical newborn disruptions 

  • You are constantly tired and struggling to focus, beyond the usual ups and downs of new-parent life 

  • You have thoughts about hurting yourself or your newborn 

“If you have any of these symptoms I recommend going to your doctor,” says Jo. “They can help organise a mental health plan to help you navigate these strong feelings.” 

Who’s at risk of postnatal depression? 

Like with any illness, there are some people who are more at risk of having postnatal depression. Some of these include: 

  • Having a family or personal history of mental illness, such as depression 

  • Experiencing stressful life events during pregnancy, like moving home 

  • Having a traumatic birth or being disappointed with the birthing experience 

  • Experiencing pregnancy complications or fertility issues before falling pregnant 

  • Having relationship issues or experiencing family violence or controlling behaviour 

  • Experiencing financial difficulties during pregnancy or when the baby is born 

  • Having difficult childhood experiences, which could resurface when the baby is born 

  • Experiencing isolation and having limited support from loved ones 

  • Having experienced a miscarriage or infant loss prior to the current child  

“Remember, if you have any of these risk factors it doesn’t mean you’ll get PND,” says Jo. “If you do have any of these risk factors, make sure you have enough emotional and practical support during the birth and afterwards.” 

How to help someone with postnatal depression 

If you know someone who has postnatal depression, whether it’s a friend or partner, they might withdraw from you. It’s important to remind them that you’re there for them during this tough period but remember to be patient. 

“Offering emotional support to someone with PND can make a positive difference,” explains Jo. “But you do have to take your time with them. It’s also a good idea to offer practical support too. Offering to do some housework or go for a walk with the parent can help them feel seen and cared for.” 

There are other ways you can help someone with postnatal depression, including: 

  • Listening to the parent’s feelings and empathising with them 

  • Encouraging the parent to limit how many people they see. This can help them focus on rest and recovery 

  • Helping out with the baby and housework if you’re a partner 

  • Helping the parent practice little acts of selfcare and mindfulness 

  • Giving the parent positive feedback about how they’re going 

  • Not talking about the mother’s post-pregnancy body or tell her to lose weight 

  • Connecting with the parent and keep the conversation going 

  • Cooking healthy meals for the parents to make sure they’re eating well. 

How can you get postnatal mental health support? 

“The earlier you treat PND, the sooner you can get back to living your life and being a parent,” says Jo. “If you know someone experiencing PND, encourage them to visit their GP for support.” 

And if you’re an nib member and have postnatal depression, know that we’re here to support you. You might be eligible for our mental health programs. These programs can help you improve your mental wellbeing and build resilience to navigate being a parent. 

Remember, if you or someone you know needs help, you can contact: