Caring for yourself while caring for a newborn
Welcoming a newborn into your life is a special and joyous occasion, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. No matter how you’ve welcomed your little one – whether through birth, surrogacy, adoption, or another journey – looking after yourself is just as important as caring for your baby.
“New parents are so focused on their baby – what they’re eating, how much they’re sleeping, whether that bowel movement was healthy – that they often forget about themselves,” says Luke Foster, Group Manager Clinical Operations at nib. “But eating well and getting enough rest is just as important for parents.”
Here are some simple ways to look after yourself during the newborn phase.
Getting more sleep when you have a newborn
Your sleep schedule when you have a baby is anything but routine. But while you’re focused on getting your newborn's sleep routine down, don’t forget about your own sleep needs.
Here are four ways you can get better sleep when you have a new baby:
Rest when you can: You’ve heard it before – sleep when the baby sleeps. While it’s not always possible, even short naps, closing your eyes or listening to calming music can help.
Place the cot or bassinet near your bed: Try placing a safe cot in your bedroom so you can easily reach your baby at night.
Share the load: If you have a partner or support system, try taking turns with night feeds and naps so at least one of you is always rested. While it might be challenging for breastfeeding mothers to do this, look for other ways you can share the load to get more sleep. The non-breastfeeding parent might handle the night-time routine or first thing in the morning to give you more time with your pillow.
Practice good sleep hygiene: Stick to a regular bedtime and wind down with calming activities like reading or deep breathing. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and screens before bed, as they can disrupt your sleep.
Related: 12 tips for getting a better night’s sleep
Fuelling the family
Eating well is essential for new parents, especially if you’re recovering from childbirth or breastfeeding. But when you’re running on little sleep, it’s easy to reach for quick fixes or skip meals entirely.
“Even experienced parents struggle with feeding themselves when they’ve got a little one attached to the hip. I can’t tell you how many parents skip cooking for themselves and live off the leftovers from their kids’ plates,” says Luke.
Help your growing family get the nutrients you need:
Keep healthy snacks at hand: To help keep energy levels steady, stash nuts, cut-up fruit or protein bars handy in places where you feed the baby.
Hydration hack: Keep a water bottle in key spots around the house so you always have one nearby. Drinking plenty of water is essential, especially if you're breastfeeding or recovering from birth. Try to aim for around 2 litres per day or drink water when you feel thirsty.
Consider postnatal supplements: If you're struggling to get everything you need from food, talk to your doctor about whether postnatal vitamins can help fill the gaps.
Take shortcuts: Pre-chopped veggies, meal kits, frozen meals and supermarket delivery can be lifesavers when you don’t have time to cook.
nib members can access rewards including discounts for groceries and meal kit programmes like Hello Fresh to help make eating healthier, easier.
When your newborn isn’t your firstborn
If your newborn baby is the latest addition to an already bustling household, then you have even more to juggle. Whether your other children are toddlers or teens there are ways you can make this time of change positive for everyone:
Have designated roles: If one parent is breastfeeding through the night, then it might make sense for the other parent to be ‘on call’ for your other children so that one person doesn’t get too overwhelmed.
Protect their sleep: While it’s not always possible to stop a baby from screaming at 2am, you might be able to reorganise your sleeping arrangements for the first few months so that the night-time feeds don’t keep the whole house awake.
Have quality time: Younger kids might feel like they’re losing you a little bit with the new baby requiring round-the-clock care. Make sure you set aside time for both the whole family and each parent individually so they know they’re still a priority.
Socialising with your baby
Community is incredibly important when raising children – not just for them, but for you as well. It’s easy to get caught up in your little love bubble, but keeping one foot in the outside world can help your mental health in the long term.
Join parenting groups: you can join parenting groups with locals who are going through exactly what you are. Sign up, meet some likeminded people and help your kids to start making friends from an early age.
Say ‘yes’ to help: if someone offers to cook or fold laundry, let them. This can be a big way you can stay connected with your community while also taking something off your plate.
Stay connected: if you’re the first one in your group to have a baby, it can be hard to see how your new reality mixes with your old one. Stay in touch (sending memes does count) and find ways to socialise with your friends – whether it’s regular coffee dates, dinner at your place, or the occasional child-free night.
Looking after your mental wellbeing
Caring for a newborn is a big adjustment, and looking after yourself helps you do it better. In the early days you might be more emotional than usual, suddenly lacking in sleep or struggling with your new routine. So managing your mental health is a crucial act of self-care for new parents.
Understand the signs of something serious: perinatal anxiety and/or depression affects up to 1 in 5 new mums and 1 in 10 new dads. While everyone might experience these things differently, if you notice a change in your mood, behaviour or relationships like increased anger or arguments then it can be a symptom. Call the PANDA hotline or schedule an appointment with your health provider to take action.
Stay active: Even low-impact exercise – like pushing a pram around the park – can help boost your mood and energy levels.
Check in with yourself: Be honest. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hide it from your support network. Talk to your partner, a friend or reach out for professional support.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression or your relationships after having a baby you can reach out to PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) to access counselling and support over the phone or complete their mental health check in to understand where you’re at right now.
Restoring strength to your body
Pregnancy, birth and caring for a newborn can all put a lot of strain on the body. If you're experiencing pain or discomfort, you should consult a doctor who can identify the cause and help you with a plan to tackle it. This might include seeing a postnatal physio who can tailor exercises to support your recovery.
What a postnatal physio can do for you:
Support for your body: helping with posture, core strength and recovery, including abdominal muscles and the pelvic floor.
Relief from aches and pains: providing exercises to ease discomfort from back, shoulder and wrist pain.
Fitness guidance: if you're eager to return to exercise, a physio can help you ease back into it safely.
If you want to strengthen your body, speak with a professional about the best program of work for you. nib members can check their Extras cover to see if physiotherapy is included.
Caring for each other in your relationship
Sleep, stress and caring for a newborn can strain an otherwise happy relationship. It’s important to see your partner as just that – a partner.
Express gratitude: whether they’re getting no sleep, making every meal, or simply put that load of laundry away, say ‘thank you’. This stops resentment from boiling over and actually makes your relationship stronger.
Offer support: be the best team you can be and offer support. Even if it is just holding the baby while your partner has a shower or organising dinner.
Keep communicating: be honest with each other about your experience. The good, the bad, the hilariously disgusting. Listen to each other without judgement or comparing your experiences and talk through plans to keep moving forward.
Get the support you need to look after yourself
When you feel good, you’re better able to enjoy life with your little one.
If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling with self-care, talking to a professional can help. nib members can access a range of services to help care for your whole family, including booking a telehealth consult with a medical doctor or nurse practitioner through our partner hub.health.
If you want to discuss what’s covered under your policy – including your Extras – or want to make sure your newborn is part of your plan, get in touch today.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
The information contained in this article is provided as general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For personalised medical advice, always consult your qualified healthcare professional.