Put 'me' at the top of your list
Why take time out for self-care
Work and self-care
A growing workload after hours, too
What’s in it for you?
Kick off the New Year with a self-care program
Self-care tips
Put ‘me’ at the top of your to-do list
Is putting yourself first about as likely as Elvis headlining the Big Day Out? And, as much as you would like to have time to go for a trot around the block, kick back with some new music, meditate, get a facial or hit the gym, like most people you probably fall into bed at some crazy hour without having had a moment all day to enjoy yourself.
• More energy
• Tackle jobs and chores with enthusiasm and ease
• Good moods
• Wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day
• Less prone to sickness
• Enjoy the day rather than simply ‘get through it’
• Do a good job at work and at home
• Be more fun to be with
Self-care starts here.
It’s easier than you think to put yourself first. Follow these great ideas for a happier, healthier, more productive you.
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Our grandparents had it right when it comes to self-care. Their golden rule was: work 8 hours, rest 8 hours, play 8 hours. Now doesn’t that seem like a quaint old-fashioned notion?
Australia, once recognized as the ‘worker’s paradise’ for the 8-hour workday achieved way back in 1948, now has among the highest working hours in the developed world. And research suggests that, despite our fabulous technology and greater workplace flexibility, many of us are working longer and harder than we did even just 10 years ago.
You may have been told that hard work never killed anyone, but an American study, published in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, found that overtime and bigger work schedules are linked to an increased risk of:
• Hypertension
• Cardiovascular disease
• Fatigue
• Stress
• Depression
• Musculoskeletal disorders
• Chronic infections
• Diabetes
• Various other general health complaints.
Professor Cary Cooper, a stress expert at Lancaster University Management School, warns that consistently putting in long hours – say over 45 a week every week - will damage your health, physically and psychologically.
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As well as your job, there's also housework, relationships and friendships to attend to, parenting, study, commuting, grocery shopping, and so the list goes on. And when we’re short on time, usually the first things we ditch are relaxation, leisure activities and self-care routines.
(Repeat first para below as a pullout)
It’s time to lose the halo
Paradoxically, neglecting yourself isn’t as unselfish as many people like to think it is. Being a slave to your work and a martyr to chores doesn’t do anyone any favours. Although plenty of people seem to have a smug glow from the halo over their head.
Being stressed, cranky and physically and emotionally run down affects your productivity at work and leads to negative interactions with family and friends. In short, you’re no fun. And that can make life unpleasant and stressful for those who have to put up with you.
Here are some signs that you have too much on your plate and could do with regular time out for self-care:
• Frequently tired
• Sense of humour failure
• Small things bug you
• You yell a lot at the kids
• You get cross with yourself
• You feel that others aren’t pulling their weight, or working as hard as you, and you resent them for it
• You see family members or workmates having a laugh and you immediately think “slackers!”
• You seem to be moving slowly or it takes you a while to get up to speed
• You use coffee or other stimulants to get you through most days
• The phone rings and you’re annoyed instead of pleased that someone wants to talk to you
• You forget things and overlook events such as close friends’ birthdays
• You see a 10-minute hole in your schedule and immediately fill it with a chore rather than kick back with a cuppa
The upshot is that if you’re want to do a good job at work and at home, and also be good company socially, you must look after yourself first.
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Taking good care of yourself is hugely rewarding for you and for those around you. Imagine what it would be like if you could tick all these boxes:
• More energy
• Feel good
• Tackle jobs and chores with enthusiasm and ease
• A good mood all day
• Wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day’s activities
• Less prone to sickness
• Enjoy the day rather than simply ‘get through it’
• Perform well at work, at home, and when you’re out socialising
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Self-care involves looking at all the dimensions of your life, determining your needs in each area, and developing techniques or activities to meet those needs.
Think about your needs on these levels:
• Intellectual - the need to stimulate or expand your mind
• Emotional - learning about yourself and your needs
• Social - how you get on with others
• Physical - taking care of your body
• Spiritual - uplifting or inspirational aspects relating to your core values
Are you spending more time on some than on others? Are you neglecting some completely? Could you improve in some areas?
Before you leap into the nearest gym, sign up for transcendental meditation classes or throw a massive birthday party for yourself, make a list of all your needs, and mark those that you need or want to improve most. Write down where you are right now, and where you want to be in future. Once you know what your self-care needs are, you are ready to start a new routine.
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Here are some suggestions for taking better care of you:
• The first rule of self-care: MAKE TIME. Track your schedule for a week to see where your time goes. Work out which tasks you can cut out or delegate to someone else.
For example, find a dry cleaner that delivers, or do online grocery shopping.
• Make a to-do list every day and PUT YOURSELF AT THE TOP. Make an appointment for you daily and keep it. What you do with that time is up to you, but try to meet one of the needs on your list.
In other words, don't vegetate on the couch - do something that will boost your wellbeing. Get that facial, book a massage, meet with friends, go the library, call your mother, take a bubble bath, volunteer, meditate, or do whatever you find relaxing and rewarding.
• Multi-task. Make the most of your time by combining tasks where possible. If you've decided you need to go to the gym and see friends more regularly, why not combine the two? Meet up with a friend and catch up on the stepper.
• Keep things in perspective. When problems pop up, remember that bad times come and then they go. Keep your eye on the important things in life, and don't sweat the small stuff.
• Have time alone. Most people benefit from some time alone. When you're by yourself, it's easier to think things through and work out any problems, or simply give your brain a rest.
• Eat well. Eat healthy food every day. Include more fresh fruit and vegetables in your diet. Cut down on fats such as cooking oils, mayonnaise, butter, margarine, salad dressing, cream, doughnuts, cheese and meats. Go easy on sugars and salt.
• Drink 6-8 glasses of water. A dehydrated body is an unhappy body. Your body needs water to absorb vitamins and nutrients, detoxify the liver and kidneys, and digest food. Dehydration causes headaches, fatigue and concentration problems.
• Kick the caffeine habit. Coffee and coke are a great buzz, but the high is short-lived and the crash afterwards will make you feel more drained and crabby than before. Switch to de-caff or try yummy Chai tea.
• Exercise regularly. Just 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day will make you feel more energetic and positive. It also reduces your risk for heart attacks and strokes. You don't have to do all 30 minutes in one go – three episodes of 10 minutes daily will do the trick. And you can be creative about how you get the exercise - get into dancing, playing an outdoor game with the kids or workmates, and walking to the shops instead of taking the car.
• Get enough rest. Try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. Also take little "time-outs" during the day to relax, such as a walk around the block or a sit-down with a cup of tea and the newspaper. Ample rest helps keep your mind quick and clear, thereby helping you perform better at work and at home.
• Keep a journal. Writing about yourself is extremely therapeutic. What’s more, seeing your feelings and problems in words usually leads to valuable insights. Try to make it a habit by always doing it last thing at night or first thing in the morning, or possibly on the train or bus to work.
• Reframe. "Always look on the bright side of life". Try to reframe problems as challenges, and negative events as positive. You'll be surprised at the difference this makes in your stress levels.
• Give yourself a break. You are allowed to make mistakes. Everyone else does. Much of our stress is self-imposed. Also, we often have unrealistically high standards for ourselves. So what if the house is a pigsty for a day? Or even a week? You’d be better off catching up on your sleep or going swimming.
• Read books. Escape with a ripping yarn. Expand your worldview by reading inspirational books not related to work. Learn something new from a DIY guide.
• Develop relationships. Spend time with friends and family, people with whom you can let your hair down and have a good time, or share an adventure or activity with.
• Explore your spiritual side. Meditate, join a religion and ponder how you fit into the bigger scheme of things. Research suggests that religious or spiritual people are able to weather stress and adversity better than people who are not religious or spiritual.
• Laugh. Dr. William Fry of Stanford Medical School recommends laughing 100 times a day to stay balanced and keep one's mind clear. Kids laugh all the time and look how chilled out they are.
• Have fun. Have fun at home and at work. No one wants to work with a grouch or a bore. Lighten up and be good to be around. They’ll return the favour, which will be good for you.
• Take a holiday. Everyone needs a break. And if you think the world will come to a standstill without you, you’re kidding yourself about your own value. You're not doing anyone any favours by not taking time off – just ask your family and colleagues!
It may be difficult to put yourself first, but once you get the hang of it, you won't believe you ever managed otherwise. And, you’ll feel so much better about yourself and life in general.
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